The Power of Vulnerability

I will never forget the first major article I had published. I had spent months perfecting my pitch, writing samples, and dreaming up my unique vantage point, when finally, I was selected by Forbes to become a contributing writer. I felt like I had made it. I then spent countless hours on my first article, and was terrified for it to go live. Finally, on a Friday morning at 8am, it was on Forbes.

And then, just moments later, the first tweet was posted.

“Crap article.”

That was it. In that moment, I was crushed. My very first “serious” publication, and this was my first response. Ouch.

Soon after, I grew a much thicker skin, but hurtful comments were always just that - hurtful. Over the years, as I wrote for media outlets and on my own blog, I realized how incredibly vulnerable you must become to put your words out into the world. It’s scary, knowing that it’s nearly impossible to put into words every nuance, feeling, and thought you want a reader to understand from your writing.

Brené Brown defines vulnerability as: uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. She notes that vulnerability is not weakness; it's our most accurate measure of courage.

In my years as a coach, facilitator, and writer, and my lifetime as a human, I have found that definition to be perfectly true. Some of the most meaningful conversations I have had in my life, have begun because I have felt courageous enough to say/write/admit that I’m not okay, or that motherhood is insanely hard, or that relationships can kind of suck, or that I struggle to figure out how to show up as a white person who cares about racial equity, or that I’ve struggled with depression, or that I’m not perfect. Yet, so much of the reason that I write and share so openly is to both know that I’m not alone, and to make sure others feel the same. We are all so perfectly flawed. I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage to be able to tell the truth, when things are hard, and when things are great (read: you can be open about those success too, so we can celebrate you!).

I wonder what the world might look like if we all allowed ourselves to be a little bit more vulnerable. To find that courage, for in that courage, comes connection. And what is life, if not about building and growing meaningful connections with one another?

Lately I don’t spend countless hours preparing for what I’m going to write. Sure, I do a quick once over, but I’m okay with being raw. Raw is real. And real, is exactly what we all need.

So, how might you be a little more vulnerable today? What is one thing you might do to find courage? I have no doubt that courage will lead to connection. And that connection, will be beautiful.